Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Dear found out about my bites on my arms.. I don't think it's obvious but don't know why he noticed it.. I just can't helped but to bite myself to feel the pain, perhaps the pain on my arms will help erased the pain in my heart..

I asked if he wanted to accompany me & he readily agreed but I got to realised he thought I asked him to accompany me for dinner.. I really want him to accompany for the day & not just for dinner.. But well.. Sigh..

I know I've to let go no matter how hard it's gonna be.. It's my choice.. I knew this day would come & I gotta be strong.. Perhaps I should really let time heal everything & give him time to let go everything then I can start afresh with him.

Told Dear I'll change but he say if I'm willing, I would have done that long ago & if I were to change for him, I won't be happy as it's in me so things will start all over again in the near future.. Told him I'm telling him I will means I will.. I've thought it through & nothing matters more than him.. And that's why the decision..

Told Mandy what Dear told me about what he dislike about.. Girly told me if it's her, she'll not be happy too.. She told me, isn't it better this way that we don't quarrel anymore & why would I wanna change the current situation? True enough.. Dear also have the same feeling.. He's also afraid of getting hurt again.. I knew I've hurt him too deeply.. The feeling is exactly the same like what I fear.. But the thought of losing him forever is like a pierce piercing through my heart.. The pain is excruciating..

Dear said if we are meant to be, we will still to be together in future.. I know but it's just damn pain! Now I'm just going all out to do anything that can make him stay..

She Blogged
10:07 PM

Dear told me alot of things that I wasn't told before.. He told me he can't get over HL incident & asked me to be better off with him as both of us have the same thinking.. Both of us are the same type of people.. It hurts when I hear this.. He kept emphasising the fact that I told him I was a little moved by HL but that doesn't mean anything! It doesn't mean I'll be with him or must be with him. I know what kind of bf I want & HL will be the last for me to consider for sure! Perhaps I used the wrong word that time that caused him to brood over it even till now.. He told me since I'm happy with HL then be with him.. But when did I say I'm happier with him? He just saw photos & assumed I'm happy but there are many things he didn't know about it. Does he even know that I always quarrel with HL despite the fact that I looked happy when I was with him? He doesn't.. If I'm happy being with someone dictates I fancy him, then I guessed I'll be too busy fancy others.. Why don't he just think about happy moments when with him? There are even more happier moments with him than HL.. In fact, moments with HL wasn't any happy moments, just a tiding period for me to confide in. Dear said we shouldn't be together again after HL incident & I was so damn right that time. I told him that time as I knew he can't get over it.. I just know Dear too well.. But he said he believe me yet still let his mind run wild..

I've asked what did I do for the past 1 year. He said that I didn't care for him at all, just do whatever I want. Yes, I knew it but despite neglecting him, I really did not do anything else to hurt him.. He said he don't like me to out with some people yet I still go but I really don't know who else he dislike besides HL. Plus I already cut all contact with HL. Those whom I know I already gave up, I don't know what else I can do to make him happier. I kept probing till I finally got the answers.. He don't like to go out alone with guys, meet at nights & he dislike me to go overseas with guys & all I did. But going overseas was already when we are no longer together.. He also can't accept the fact that I turn to others when he was not able to help.. I feel so helpless.. He can't help yet I can't turn to others..

He also don't like me to go around telling people about our r/s.. I knew from the start he don't like so I was so afraid to tell anyone till things got worst & I need someone to help me solve coz I'm totally clueless of what to do.. But I didn't know he would mind so much.. I was merely looking for a solution to our r/s.. He also dislike the idea of me posting my emotions on FB.. Perhaps that's me, an emotional freak, I can't keep everything to myself, I'll go crazy so I've to let all my frustrations, my anger all let off to cool down.. Or perhaps, that's women..

He said he can walk out of this r/s so he's sure I'll be able to as well.. He said he'll be with me.. I wished I'm that strong.. My self infliction disorder just came back to me all of the sudden.. Perhaps I just can't take the blow.. Perhaps I care too much.. I really hate myself hurting him & hurting myself so much that things just went out of control now.. I know no matter what I do now is useless, he just didn't want to get hurt again.. I knew when I promised him I will change for him, I meant it.. I don't make empty promises.. When I know I can't I won't, but since I've made up my mind, I'm really willing to.. But he just feels I won't coz he felt if I will, I will change in the past & not now.. But its coz I realised what is the most important thing to me... HIM!!

She Blogged
2:01 PM

Reading at my past posts made my tears rolled uncontrollably once again.. There are many things I've yet to do for him, perhaps I should just do it for the last time.. For the watch he saw with Minchan, I wanted to buy for him so much that time when he mentioned. Since now I've just gotten my remuneration from helping Ronald's event, I should just follow my heart & buy it for him. I may not have the chance to buy him anything again.. I asked MC last night about the price & model again..

At times, I wanted so much to surprise him with the breakfast I made but I've been contemplating for very long.. I'm afraid he may not like it so I've been procastinating & not doing it. Am I just not bold enough to tell or do whatever things to show that I love him? Why must I hold back each time? He won't know how much I care for & love him if I always hold back & don't show it to him! I regretted.. Regretted of not showing.. I should boldly announced to the whole world that I LOVE HIM & CARE FOR HIM..

She Blogged
4:33 AM

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I finally find out what I wanted to.. He has no gf & we have no chance of getting back together.. I cried hard.. Real hard! But my intuition tells me he lied.. The friend that he lately mentioned everytime should be his new gf & that's why he refused to let me take his photo & upload to FB.. He had a new haircut & it was really nice on him.. I wanted to take a photo & keep as a memory but he refused to saying that later I'll upload to FB.. I asked why he's afraid unless he's attached now.. But he told me he wasn't.. Perhaps my tears just can't stop rolling hence he's afraid of letting me know.. Could it be the hairstylist? I remembered him telling me she asked him out before.. My friends are have the same feeling too.. Plus I remembered I onced called him & Cai Seng was beside & he said something like "Why u call? He wanna go look for Jasmine one.." I asked who was CS talking to coz it seems like he's targetting at me but he told me was Ah Wee. Then I heard CS repeat what he said & he asked him to not talk nonsense.. Or perhaps he's not attached but have someone else in mind..

I asked him in the car if there is any chance that we can be together.. He said no.. I can't stop crying till now! He said like I say we ain't suitable so even when together, we'll still quarrel & break again.. But I never say we ain't suitable, but said we have different perspectives.. It's ironic to say we ain't suitable after so long.. He told me there are things he can't get over so no point patching up & asked me to move on.. He refused to tell me what are the things he can't get over, he said it will made me feel worst.. Told him no one can replace him in my mind but he said I just need to find someone else & I'll be able to forget him, it's just a habit.. If it's habit, then why would I still hang on to it? I can easily find someone to replace him as a habit isn't it?

Told him that we lacked proper communication & that affected our r/s but he said it's beyond communication. But if we had talk it out in the very start of the problem, things wouldn't be this way & I believe will be better! I asked if he still love me, he said if saying no will make me feel better then no..

I don't understand why he can change so fast within 1 mth.. Jan he still wasn't like this, Feb onwards, he changed.. Perhaps he really met someone new.. But he told me I'm the one who changed..

I have nightmare every night.. Nightmare of him don't want me anymore, having new gf.. I guessed I'm just thinking too much.. I knew I'll break down some day but I thought I can still hide & act non chalant.. But I'm not that strong..

I'm afraid of the 1st of every month especially the coming 1st April.. Everything is just about us.. Told him I've always loved him till now but he said if I have always love him, I'll not leave him & told him I need time to think about it.. But that does not dictate I don't love him! I'm just confused over our r/s due to the quarrels, I just need a breather from it.. Perhaps it's my karma.. Karma of not treating him nicely..

We shared too much memories.. Every corner of my room reminds me of him.. In fact, I've even thought of ways & things to do to make our r/s better in the event we patch up & I'm even willing to do whatever I can to make him happy & make our r/s a better one.

I foolishly thought an answer will urged me to move on but I'm wrong! I still can't.. I'm still where I am when I ended the r/s..

She Blogged
10:09 PM

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Had an arguement with Mum coz she called Dear to buy cigarettes.. Told her not to call him anymore to get anything coz I did not want him to feel that I'm making use of him.. Mum simply don't understand when I already told her my point view & said I accused her.. :( Dear once said when I needed him I'll look for him but when I don't, I can't be bothered so I really don't want to make him feel this way.. I will try to look for others for help nowadays instead of him to prevent him from thinking I'm making use of him.. Though he's still the 1st that came to my mind..

She Blogged
4:01 PM

Monday, March 14, 2011

Met up with Serene they all.. Serene & Wendy told me to hold Dear back if I really can't live without him & don't think anymore.. I wanted to but don't have the courage to.. Coz I feel that Dear is already attached.. Sometimes he don't even reply my messages..

On our way home, Serene told me to ask whatever I wanted to know & tell him whatever I'm feeling. At least I've done what I needed to know & if things were really what I guessed, then at least I know I shouldn't pin anymore hope on this r/s anymore.. She told me I already know what I wanted but I'm just afraid.. True enough.. Told her when I asked if Dear is happier now, he told me he is.. In fact upon hearing this, it really made me think twice of asking him back.. Coz I really want him to be happier.. But it's really hurts that I can't be with someone I love so dearly.. I've got to give up coz of our differences whch we didn't managed to overcome.. Perhaps from the start we were straight forward enough, telling each other our feelings without hiding, things wouldn't turn out this way..

Perhaps I should face reality & ask him upright.. If he's really attached or don't love me anymore, I should just give up & stop pinning hope on this r/s anymore.. Though hurting but at least I will give my best to give up than holding on headlessly to a r/s that will never be mine again....

Just texted him asking if he's still out.. His reply was fast but when I asked if I can asked him something, he did not reply.. Still contemplating if I should call him or wait till a better time to ask.. I'm really lost.. I don't know what I should do now.. :( I really really feel like calling him but am afraid of spoiling his mood outside..

04:20

He replied but he said "You don't like people ask u, why u want ask?" I don't know why he turned so defensive for no reason.. And it's really for no reason.. And the fact that I didn't dislike him asking me things, I just dislike the fact that the tone of his voice seems interogatting.. Sometimes, it's just about the tone.. If his tone is nicer & sounded more concern, I wouldn't have flared.. Told him that I just want to know 1 thing & after which I won't ask him a single thing in future.. I merely want to know what's his answer now.. To urge me & allow me to move on with my life..

She Blogged
3:50 AM

Friday, March 11, 2011

Was waiting for his call & he finally called.. Told him I felt like going over, he said nastily: "Come over for what?! When we were together, u never want to come & now I want to." But then why did he let me go over after the TW trip & not now?

I told him how I was feeling but he sounded indifferent.. I bet he must have hated me though he told me he didn't.. He asked me to think about how I treated him this 1 year.. I seriously don't know what I did.. I did neglect him but I never treat him badly..

He said that now that without me, he can do whatever he like/want without having to worry about anything.. I asked if he's happier without me & he said he is.. So I'm really right to leave him & to make him a happier person.. I should be glad that my intention was answered but I'm not coz it will means the chances of us being together again is lower.. He kept holding the fact that I ever told him we were world apart due to our perspectives/values but he still don't understand that I broke up not coz of this but coz we could not solve our difference & it's hurting the both of us.. Rather than hurting each other, why don't we just put a halt to all the hurting? And in order to stop the hurt, breaking up will be the best solution..

He mentioned that when I needed him, I'll look for him & if I don't, I'll not be bothered about him.. I don't know what made him think that way but if I don't care, would I even bother to call him everytime I wake up? Would I even buy him some thing he likes when I see it? No!! It's coz I care & that's why he's always the 1st person that came to my mind when I needed him.. I could just approached any other person for help but I didn't..

I can't accept anyone even up till now coz I can't get over him.. He's always on my mind.. I just want to be with him & no one else.. No one can ever replace his place in my heart.. He's someone special to me & someone I love dearly..

She Blogged
3:29 AM

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Was smsing Dear last night.. Told me he was tired so I asked if he didn't nap enough & he told me his friend was at his house so didn't sleep much.. As far as I remembered, he seldom lie on bed if his friends were around but when I called at that time, he said he was lying on bed.. Somehow, the feeling of him being attached is even stronger.. I replied: " Gf?" He did not responsed at all.. Perhaps it really was.. I wanted so much to asked him when I called him but I dare not ask again.. Perhaps I'm afraid to face the reality..

I called him when I was back from lunch but he was sleeping so I told him to call me after he wake up.. But after my nap, he still did not call.. Tried calling him & his hp was turn to roaming.. The disappointment just engulfed me..

There have been times I wanted to write to him like before when we were still together.. But when I hold my pen, somehow I just can't gather all my thoughts to write down how I feel hence didn't write in the end.. Perhaps our problem started to occur when I my moniversary letter started decreasing.. Coz the letter was always to express my inner feelings for him & as it grew lesser, he didn't understand my feelings/thoughts & also mistook my love for him is lesser & hence causes all these.. I should have just continue to write no matter how busy I am.. A belated is better than nothing, rather than causing us so much unnecessary misunderstandings..

Our break up really made me think alot.. Alot of things I've never realised when being with him.. My negligence..

She Blogged
12:39 AM

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

I watched the video Dear made for me the last time we broke up.. I know I'll cry for sure & I know I'll cry as badly as that time & indeed, it was as bad.. The photos brought back alot of memories.. Some of them were even some I'm looking for the other day but I can't seems to find..

Read the letter he wrote as well, cried even badly.. No matter how many times I read/watch, I'll definately cry.. Whenever I read the past messages he sent to me when I hurt him, I'll cry discreetly..

There are things I've never told him before.. I do make it clear to people who sweet talk or going after me that I love him dearly & won't accept anyone else except him.. I dare not tell him fearing he might want me to stop contact with him.. I just don't want things to turn that way so I thought by making my stand, it should be fine.. He'll never understand coz I never told him.

My emotions is out of control lately.. I just can't stop crying & concentrate on my work..

My love for him now is just like 7yrs ago.. In fact, it's deeper.. Perhaps both just ain't good in our words that causes our relationship to break apart.. It hurts, it simply hurts..

I also find that he don't seems to be his usual self lately.. He seems to be avoiding me & when I wanna hug him, he seems reluctant.. If he's got someone new, I'll wish him well. It's me who let him go, so no matter how tough it will be for me, I must endure & accept it.. But if he really does, I'll disappear from his life & never appear in his life again.. Perhaps when I get over him, then it will be a better to start contacting again.. Coz it simply hurts too much for me to see him attached when I still love him dearly..

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really selfish on my part. I broke up on my wishful thinking wanting him to feel happier.. Sometimes I wonder if I'm at fault not being able to do things like he want..

She Blogged
1:01 AM

Monday, March 07, 2011

Some things just flashed through my mind of of the blue.. It made me realised how I've neglected Dear at times without realising it.. Perhaps that's the reason why he felt so insecure at times.. Things do get into my ears when friends commented that I was neglecting Dear but perhaps I was too egoistic to apologise or say something nice to appease him that causes things to turn ugly.. I'm just too adamant & egoistic at times.. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have done that to Dear.. :(

These few months have made me thought of alot of things that I never thought of before.. Perhaps it's only when the 2 of us ain't together then will I have the time to think it through.. We've just stayed stagnant too long & I was just getting sick to the everyday life of us.. Perhaps I lack of excitement in life hence I merely wanted to find back my lost excitement in life.. I was just too engrossed in finding my entertainment & neglected Dear so much so that I did not realised it.. If I could turn back time, I would tell him I'm wrong & I'm sorry..

She Blogged
12:38 AM

Sunday, March 06, 2011

I wanted Dear badly to be stay with me for a movie but he didn't want to.. I can't hold back any longer so I cried in front of him.. When he left, I can't stop crying..

I texted him telling him how felt & he asked me what I wanted him to do. Told him I merely wanted to tell him what I'm feeling & he replied "This is what u wanted, be strong.." When I asked if he still loves me, he say's he don't know.. Upon hearing this, my heart just sank.. I was became so lost.. Coz don't know to me is he don't love me anymore.. Just that he don't know how to break it to me..

I wanted to tell him so much that I wanted him back at times but I know it sounds silly.. He would feel that I'm fooling his feelings but I'm not.. I just love him too much that I didn't want to hurt him..

I merely wanted to be myself when being with him. I do not want to hide my true self from him, that's too fake.. I may please him but in long run, I'll be suffocating.. But can he accept for who I am?

He' no longer mine.. If I kept crying over the fact that he's already not mine, how long must I cry? Yes, he's right, I really need to learn to be strong.. To be a stronger person..

She Blogged
12:52 AM

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

I finally broke down today.. I cried & I can't stop.. I've not moved on till now.. It's supposed to be our 6yrs & 23rd months today.. I really love Dear alot & I'm not happy at all!! I hide my sorrows in front of him & my friends & I pretend I'm fine but the fact is, I'm not.. I did not want anyone to see me in this state.. I know I'll regret when I asked to part but till now I still hold the fact that break up will make us both feel better at least. At least now I won't upset him that much.. That's what I wanted him to be.. A happier person..

Asked him to go out for movie together with Kairong & Mandy but he doesn't want to.. He said he don't know them, & besides he already have no time for his own friends yet want to go movie with them.. It hurts.. I merely wanted to bring him closer to me circle yet he kept pushing them away.. How are we supposed to together if he do not want to break the boundary between us?

She Blogged
12:31 AM

Saturday, February 26, 2011

The days with him in TW was great.. I love every bit of company.. How nice it would be if everyday are like the days the TW w/o quarrel.. I really wanted him badly but I'm afraid of quarrelling again.. I just feel that the quarrels will make us drift apart instead of loving more.

There were days where he hurt my feelings.. I felt the pain.. I was trying on cap & he asked "Do you think it's very nice?" I replied jokingly "Yeah, looked nice on me!!" And his reply was "Eh! KNS!! Pui!" I was simply disgusted by his tone & hurt by it.. I'll never say this kind of things to him.. NEVER! If I don't find it nice, I would just nicely tell him it's not nice.. I won't say things like KNS, pui etc.. He's loving & caring but just abit thoughtless at times.. :(

I always thought this trip will make us closer but somehow I felt that we had drifted apart.. I just had this feeling.. I remembered asking him to go to Kaoshiung with me in future & he said "See how lor, will be busy after this." He wouldn't have said this way last time.. Perhaps he just don't want to be so close to me anymore.. :'(

She Blogged
2:24 PM

Saturday, February 12, 2011

It's been long since I last blogged..

It's been 4months & I still love him dearly.. But can we really be together? Can we really be happy if we continue? My decision to part with him was such a torture.. :( I still can't totally get over him.. I stil missed him when I don't see him, I still love to tell him the things that happened around me.. There are also times where I really wanted to ask him back but I fear thus I hold back..

I do agree with him that trust need to be build but have he ever trust me since we started? It's not just what happened between me & HL that made him mistrust me.. It's always been the case as far as I'm concern.. The way he interrogated me whenever I meet my guy friends is already a form of mistrust.. Of coz it's ok to ask but the way he asked is as if I've done him wrong.. It simply annoyed me..

I know he've changed for me but he's changing just to please me & not willingly.. He won't be happy neither do I.. In order not to hurt each other more, I guessed it's best to part.. But he don't see the way I do..

I can't moved on.. I've always thought of marrying him even till now.. But the thought of us quarreling over minor things made me freak out each time.. But I knew that if he proposed, I'll definately say yes! In fact, I've been waiting for all these years.. Yes, even after all the tiffs & arguements coz I knew I love him more than anything else! But perhaps I'm waiting for nothing..

I admit I'm close to my guy friends but being close doesn't dictate anything.. Not as if I'm being unfaithful to him. He loves me & I know it but I really can't stand the way he let his emotion rule his head & interrogated me as if I'm wrong but the fact is I'm not.. :( It hurts to know that he don't trust at all.. The main problem is that he have no confidence in himself & he tends to read too much into simple things.. Hence it's affecting me & our relationship alot..

I don't wanna lose him yet living in this kind relationship is also a torture.. I don't know how long we can last if this continue yet we can't resolve this issue after so long.. Can someone tell me how to do? :(

She Blogged
1:50 AM

Thursday, January 27, 2011

It's been 3mths plus since we broke up.. I thought things have turn better but it wasn't the way as I thought..

Planned to cook dinner & eat together but he suddenly asked for the cap I bought from Sunway. I refused to give him coz I'm afraid he does not want to return me like the other time.. I love the cap & i really don't wish to give it away.. I asked him why he needed the cap, he told me he wanted to prevent his hair from ticking him so I told him there are so many other caps, can take them since it's the same. But he insisted on the Rip Curl cap & started to search high & low in my room. Told him it's in my room but he couldn't find it & still insisted me to pass it to him if it's in my room. It started to arouse my suspicion that he's suspecting that I bought the cap for someone else & not for myself.. Already told him I bought for myself & it's at home but he don't believe me! I kept asking why he wanted that particular cap when it's all the same if he merely wanted to prevent his hair from tickling him? But he can't give me a good reason & insisted on the cap. I flared! I asked if he's suspecting me buying it for someone else then he said if it's at home, just bring it out. Then I asked him, so what if I bought it for someone else? Then he replied "So you really bought it for someone lah?" I kept asking him to give me a good reason why he insisted wearing that cap & not others but he couldn't give me a good reason. all he said was coz he like the cap & wanna wear just that cap. It's crap!!! Got fed up & asked him to leave my house. He threw his temper at me when he's at fault! Before he left, I showed him the cap wanting him to know that it's REALLY with me & NOT HIDING ANYTHING FROM HIM!!

WTF!! I already said it many times isn't it? He JUST DON'T BELIEVE!! Fuck man! I'm getting annoyed with every suspicions he got!! He get suspicious over nothing each time! What the hell does he want from me? I tell him the truth he don't believe then does he wants me to lie? Will he be happier? Can't he just be contented & appreciated that I DON'T LIE to him instead telling him the truth? Tell him the truth he he also suspect, then what he want me to do? Keep mum & don't talk lor..

He have always thought that he'd given up alot in this r/s but he isn't the only one.. I gave up alot for him too.. But he simply don't realised & took it for granted.. I seldom meet up my guy friends when we started off & even pushed away my dates with whatever reasons I can think of everytime. I told him everything & learnt that he'll get upset if I tell him I'm meeting a guy friend hence I started to tell him I'm out with friend instead if I were to meet guy. But I don't lie if he asked who the friend was, I told him truthfully. He'll get upset about it.. So what? Lie to make him feel better?

Yes, he did change for me & I can see the change too but I'm sick & tired of everything already. I told him the truth he still doubt me so at times I seriously don't know what else I can do. He tried to give in & let me go out with my guy friends but he do it unwillingly. He just wants to make me feel happier but I'm not.. Coz I can't enjoy as I care about his feelings too much & it simply makes me feel guilty to leave him alone without me..

We have been quarreling even after break up which I don't understand why.. In fact I have my rights to go out with anyone without informing him since we are no longer together but it seems that I still tell him at times.. Alot have been telling me to totally stop contact so as to put a clean break to it but I'm worried for him.. I'm afraid he can't take it & I can't bring myself to do this to him too.

He stills suspects me even after break up.. He still gets angry over minor things.. I locked my hp after break up & he cannot take it thinking that I've got something to hide from him. But the fact is, I started locking coz he didn't like the idea of me locking when we were together so I started to lock after break up since no one will be unhappy anymore. But to him, it's otherwise & not so simple. I dislike the idea of people peeping while I'm sms-ing. I don't use to be like this but now I HATE IT!! It's disrespectful & invading people's privacy..

I hate it when someone doubt me even when I'm telling the truth. Then what's the point of being truthful? I should have just lie isn't it?

I guessed why I would care so much is coz I still love & care for him.. If I don't, I wouldn't get upset at all.. I've lost hope in the r/s at time but I still pin sone hope hoping things will be for the better during these time.. His name in my mobile is still Baobei.. I still keep our photos in my wallet & whenever I see it, I'll smiled.. Coz I missed him when he's not around..

She Blogged
9:58 PM

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Fri was shopping time for me, Diana and Yoke Ting. Met Diana's bf halfway through our shopping and he followed us to shop. They are such cute couple lah! They skipped halfway while they are walking. It's really damn funny!

Before we went home, we went explore Hyatt and Marriott Hotel. Damn nice can? It's Yoke Teng & my virgin night exploring hotels.. Next time shall go explore again!

Bf called to ask why am I not home & told me that it was late. WTH!! It's merely 9plus!! Can't I just go out with my friends? Can't I have my own space? Got so pissed off that I shouted at him.. I need my own space.. I have my circles of friends and don't you know that shopping is a woman's life?

Anyway, let's not talk about it anymore.. The more I think of it, the more I boil... Let's take a look at the picture we took during our last outing!!

She Blogged
3:23 AM

Thursday, April 09, 2009

I finally found Brandon after soooooooo long!! I'm over the moon!! We finally get to chat after 12 yrs? We will some times bumped into each other but just passed by.. I still remember the watching him passing by me without daring to go forward to say hi to him.. But now, it's different! He emailed me after his sis told him about me! Thank god that his sis browse my blogshop and gave me the chance! Chatted with him in msn yesterday and I'm really VERY HAPPY!! Brandon Koh Kim Teck! You left so much memories in me!! =D

Today our channel's TSR all ended work at 10plus as all slots are filled up.. Wow! If only everyday is like this, I'll be damn happy! We were asked to study our M5 but me, Alvin and Yoke Teng were chatting for the whole day! I guess tmr will be a free-er day.. Coz slots are even more limited even though 2 TSR will be on leave tmr..

Well, my colleague, Roslind left the company with effect of today.. I don't know why but I guess she felt stressed working with all of us as all of us were in our 20s whereas she is the only "Aunty" which exclude my direct supervisor..

I lost my access pass! Shit!! I thought I left in my other bag but when I got home, I realised that it's not! I think I lost it this morning when I took out my card holder as I remember hearing something dropped but did not see what dropped.

Last Fri outing was a fun one.. I enjoyed it alot.. =) But one thing I don't like is my bf kept calling to spot check.. I hate it.. I know he cares but I just don't like the fact the he only call when he dislike me going out with them which I don't understand why.. Maybe he just feel insecure.. I don't know.. I'm starting to ponder over now..

Upload of our outing photos soon!! Good nite!

She Blogged
12:03 AM

Friday, March 27, 2009

It's been more than a year since I last updated. Life has been busy and I'm simply too busy and tired to update. But now, I shall update once in a while.

Actually I'm turning in soon but thought of blogging so here I am! Back in ACTION!! Lol~

Finally Final Exams is over and done with and results are also out. Phew! Thank god I passed! It's been 3 weeks since I started working. Environment is good and colleagues are all fun loving too! I simply love them loads!

Though there have been demoralized times but still I must work towards to achieve my goals for a better pay!! Wahahaha~

Gotta turn in.. Update real soon!! Good night!

She Blogged
11:51 PM

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Went for physical test yesterday. Guess ive not exercised for too long, aching all over today.. I did sit ups, push ups & sit & reach.. Thought my sit & reach will improve after all stretching but nah.... No improvement at all!! The number of push ups & sit ups were also not up to my standard. Think when i constantly go for training, my push ups will be much better. I tried spder push up yesterday but i couldnt even do once. Dahz... Standard dropped sia..

But overall my results was excellent for my age. Weird right? I sucks lah seriously.. I wana do better & get better grades in my NAPFA next year!! Haha~

After PT, i met Rongmei at HV. Woo~ So long never see her.. Haha~ She put on so much weight lah.. Nearly couldnt recognise her.. Guess what? The 1st thing she saw me was " Wah~ Still havent grow taller ar?" Started to chat about everything, from ITE to our own life now. Really nice catching up with her after so long.. Bleah..

Too busy catching up till we forgot all about taking picture for remembrance. After she sent me home, we took a few pic in her car quickly as shes rushing to fetch her gf. Wahaha!!

Finally shes at least smiling in this oic. =)

She Blogged
1:29 AM

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